The Great Cornard Information Website
Page updated - 03 March 2006
These product warnings are intended to be amusing and not cause offence.
Email your suggestions for product warnings you would like added to the list.
Apparently, these are actual true-life product warnings.
On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink -
After opening, keep upright.
On a blanket from Taiwan -
Not to be used as protection from a tornado.
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you.
On a Taiwanese shampoo -
Use repeatedly for severe damage.
On a New Zealand insect spray -
This product not tested on animals.
In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
To avoid condensation forming allow the boxes to warm up to room temperature before opening.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -
Open other end.
On a Sears hairdryer - Do not use while sleeping.
On a Korean kitchen knife - Warning keep out of children.
On a bag of Fritos -
You could be a winner! no purchase necessary. details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial (US) soap -
Directions - use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)
On a Japanese food processor -
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -
Warning - contains nuts.
(Really? And that's bad, why?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -
Instructions - open packet, eat nuts.
(I'm glad they cleared that up.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
On a child's superman costume -
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)